If there is anything we can count on our kids to do is that they will always remind us of the promises we made to them. They will talk about it all day and ask us repeatedly on when they are going to get this, that or the other. We always tell them later, but when later comes along and they still have not received that very thing or did that specific activity, they begin to lose hope that they will ever be able to get that thing or do that activity. How much different are we with God? Many of us start to lose our hope when it comes to God stepping in to save our kids, marriage, etc. after asking and praying that He does something about it, but we end up taking matters into our own hands.

Here we are, as parents, trying to get our kids to trust us when we promise something. But little do they know that we are working behind the scenes so that the promises can be fulfilled. God is the same way. When you read through the Old Testament, we are given prophecy after prophecy about the coming of Christ. When we read the New Testament, we become witness to the coming of Christ. Yet we are wondering when it will happen while the world looks like it is all going into hell in a hand basket. But this is where it gets difficult for kids as well ad ourselves with God…TRUST.

To trust out parents when we were young, and for our kids to trust us becomes difficult, just as much as it is to trust God. Why? Because we read the scriptures and we begin to doubt God and wonder when all these promises and prophecies are going to finally come to past. But little do we know what is happening behind the scenes, that will get us to that point of receiving what we have been wanting and/or what has been promised to us. The crazy thing is that God already knew that we would struggle with trust. We know this when we read Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust IN the Lord with ALL of your heart, and LEAN NOT on your own understanding, but IN ALL of your ways acknowledge Him AND He will make your paths straight.” (Caps are of emphasis)

See, God knows that we struggle with waiting and we have questions and doubts. All He wants us to do is focus on Him and trust in the fact that He knows what He is doing and it is only being done in our best interest. Trust may be difficult, but what becomes of it is will be sweet.

There is no doubt the most annoying question we can ever get from our kids is “but why?” after sharing why something happens, even though this is a legit question. We ask God the same thing all the time: “but why?” “Why does my family have to suffer?” “But why did they have to die?” “But why did I lose my job?” We ask God these “why” questions almost without fail only because we are coming from a place of cluelessness, mystery, and confusion. Please know, there is nothing wrong with asking “but why?” But there is a way to approach it all, with the right perspective.

I understand that the concept of “perspective” has become a cliche within the church within the decade. But allow us to examine a passage from the book of Job chapter 23 verses 8 thru 12. Mind you, Job is an Old Testament book that is written like a manuscript of a trial. In this portion of scripture, Job comes from two different points of view. But as a refresher about Job; Job was a wealthy man who out of fear always performed a sacrificial offering on behalf of his children whenever they threw a party in any case that they may have sinned. In two days, the Lord allowed destruction to come upon his land. He lost ALL of his livestock, animals, children and property. The next day, illness struck his body, and boils began to grow on him.

In the passage mentioned above, the first have of the passage, we see that Job feels all alone and forgotten by God because God has gone silent and has disappeared. Yet, mind you, in the beginning chapters, the Lord sought Job as righteous and as a man of integrity. So the question is “why?” Why is all of this happening to Job? Well in the first two chapters, satan appears before the Lord. God presents Job before satan asking him, “have you considered my servant Job?” And made a bet with satan that Job would not turn around and curse Him. God allowed satan to take away everything but Job’s life. See, God made a bet knowing the outcome already.

In the second half of the passage, Job’s perspective of everything changes:

“But He knows the way that I take;

When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

My foot has held fast to His steps;

I have kept His way and not turned aside.

I have not departed from the commandment of His lips;

I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.”

Job 23:10-12

See the change in perception? At first, Job wonders where God is at in all of this. But then we read the change in perception with Job. At one moment, Job is saying how he feels like God is not with him. Yet, he comes about with understanding, knowing that all of this pain is only for a little while. Just how Job has been faithful to God with his daily meditation of his word and offering sacrifices unto the Lord. He too is to be faithful to Job. We read of the same faithfulness of God:

“Return to Me, and I will return to you”

Malachi 3:7

As we are faithful to God thru all of trials, times of testing and when we are being tempted by satan himself, He will always be faithful to us, even during our times of always asking “why?”

As parents, the one thing that annoys us when it comes to our kids is the constant calling of names. Either our kids always call out “Daddy!” or “Mommy!” constantly and we get so annoyed that we just snap at them wondering what is so important. Similarly, when we call out our kids so they can do something or to follow instruction(s) but we too have to call them constantly and sometimes nicknames just to get a reaction out of them. How much different are we when it comes to us and how we are with God?

There is no doubt in our minds we are sons and daughters of God because we have the same tendency as our kids. Many a times we are instructed to do things for God, but then we become like Jonah and reason ourselves out of it and think it is not God actually talking to us. Or like Gideon where we always have be asking Him, “are you sure? but why? why me?”

We always want God to use us for a greater good, but we start to question it when it is out of our comfort zone. We also tend to feel like this when we feel unqualified. Yet, this is when God can use us the most. We are best useful when we walk in obedience. But our issue is that we want it done on our time and our terms, but that is not how God works. Paul instructs his disciple Timothy “Preach the Word! Be ready in season and out of season…” (2 Timothy 4:2 NKJV). So what does this tell us? Just like any player on the bench for any sports team, as they anticipate for their number to be called to go out on the field and prove their worth, we are to be ready AT ALL TIMES (emphasis) so that we can prove our devotion and how serious we are when it comes to our willingness.

So I ask in closing: how much longer will we give God a delayed response? How much longer will we continue to disobey God by delaying our obedience to His word? Remember, delayed obedience is disobedience. God never told us to do this, that, or the other when it is convenient for us or when we feel comfortable. When we read the first 5 chapters of the Book of Isaiah, they are intense with prophetic imagery as to what the Lord is about to do, but then chapter 6 is when Isaiah is in the presence of the Lord and has been given the opportunity to be a messenger of the Lord. He felt unworthy, but the Lord purified him. With Jeremiah, the Lord called upon him and confirmed to him that he was to be a prophet. Jeremiah was noting that he was young and that people would not listen, but the Lord told him to just open his mouth and He will fill his mouth with the words needed to speak to the people.

You may feel like you cannot connect with a certain group or that you are unworthy to do the work of the Lord. But He does not leave any excuse, He will purify you and put the words in your mouth to speak if you would just let Him flow in you and thru you via the Holy Spirit. Lord knows, when our kids are obedient the first time around, life is so much simpler and easier. How are we any different with God?

We are all given a choice to either evolve from our past or keep it around. Many of us choose to blame our past for our present and how our future will be. Others deny the past yet do not bring resolve to the hurt that took place. Some take the past, recognize all the pain and hurt and grow from it. It is really up to us to choose. I write this the day after thanksgiving where it was nothing short of depressing. The memories of being tossed back and forth from one family to another. As a father of 2 little tykes, this was the last thing I ever wanted to expose them to–yet here we are.

My wife and I split roughly 7 months ago from the time I am writing this post. It is difficult for me as a husband and father because I never wanted for history to repeat itself, yet what I endured as a child with my parents has trickled into the life of my kids. But I came to the realization that it does not have to continue this way. Throughout the time in writing all of this, and the many times that I have been in church and heard about “changing your destiny,” it sinks into my heart that I can rewrite and change the story with my boys.

The beautiful thing about technology is that you have the options to Copy, Paste, Edit, and Delete. These four simple things that can be done on a computer can also be associated on how we proceed with what life hands us. There is no doubt that we all carry a legacy beyond ourselves from those who came before us, but it how we grow from that legacy and make things better.

Simply put, I have deleted the word divorce from my vocabulary when it comes to my marriage. Rather, I choose to study my wife and develop myself as a husband and a father to my boys. Not to say that my father was a bad one, but you can always be better than those who came before you. Therefore, I have copied some of the things my dad did with me and edited some of the ways he conducted himself with me, and improved it with my boys. By no stretch of the imagination have I been nor will I be the perfect father, but I can sure put my best foot forward and become better than he was.

There is always room for growth and development. One should seek to evolve from those who came before us and become an improved version of ourselves. For instance, I maintained the mentality that my dad, uncle and grandfather have, and that is to always fight for your marriage, nurture and take care of one another, and always try to come from a place of understanding rather than leaving my wife and kids and choosing to be an inactive parent.

What do you want to copy, paste, edit, or delete from your life? How are you going to improve yourself as a father and/or as a husband? Remember, what we do now as parents will have an effect on our little ones in the future.

I would like to welcome everyone to the first of many installments of A Father’s Shadow. This idea was thought up as every Sunday morning, I am at my church bright and early setting everything up, but of course my little boy who is 3 years old, always likes to follow me wherever I go. Many times I find myself turning around and tripping over him because he is directly right behind me. As much as I love him, it can become annoying at times, but it only makes me think about how we are the same way with God. We do not recognize how much we are like our Father in heaven, but at the same time it can seem daunting. After all, we are made in His likeness and image (Gen. 1:26-27).

I do want to highlight this fact: as much as this world tries to deny Him, we all follow in His footsteps. We create as He created everything on this earth (Gen. 1). We love others as He loves us. We are so much like Him that it is absurd that we can even grow to deny Him as the creator of the heavens and the earth as well as our Heavenly Father. In the same light, there is no doubt that my 3 year old boy follows in my footsteps. Even after all the mistakes that I have made in my life, he still longs to be just like me.

Why A Father’s Shadow? Because no matter how many times we try to hide, there is always someone like our kids right behind us following our every move. This will only highlight our imperfections and allow us to see who not only who we really are, but it will also move us to become someone better and someone who can actually guide these little ones in the right direction. It is our responsibility as parents, especially as fathers, to shape and mold these children in the way that they are to go (Proverbs. 22:6). This is even true for the spiritual fathers within the church.

I pray that you continue on this journey with me as we deal with matters of being, not just a father, but as a parent who wants to raise up a child who fears God.