We are all given a choice to either evolve from our past or keep it around. Many of us choose to blame our past for our present and how our future will be. Others deny the past yet do not bring resolve to the hurt that took place. Some take the past, recognize all the pain and hurt and grow from it. It is really up to us to choose. I write this the day after thanksgiving where it was nothing short of depressing. The memories of being tossed back and forth from one family to another. As a father of 2 little tykes, this was the last thing I ever wanted to expose them to–yet here we are.

My wife and I split roughly 7 months ago from the time I am writing this post. It is difficult for me as a husband and father because I never wanted for history to repeat itself, yet what I endured as a child with my parents has trickled into the life of my kids. But I came to the realization that it does not have to continue this way. Throughout the time in writing all of this, and the many times that I have been in church and heard about “changing your destiny,” it sinks into my heart that I can rewrite and change the story with my boys.

The beautiful thing about technology is that you have the options to Copy, Paste, Edit, and Delete. These four simple things that can be done on a computer can also be associated on how we proceed with what life hands us. There is no doubt that we all carry a legacy beyond ourselves from those who came before us, but it how we grow from that legacy and make things better.

Simply put, I have deleted the word divorce from my vocabulary when it comes to my marriage. Rather, I choose to study my wife and develop myself as a husband and a father to my boys. Not to say that my father was a bad one, but you can always be better than those who came before you. Therefore, I have copied some of the things my dad did with me and edited some of the ways he conducted himself with me, and improved it with my boys. By no stretch of the imagination have I been nor will I be the perfect father, but I can sure put my best foot forward and become better than he was.

There is always room for growth and development. One should seek to evolve from those who came before us and become an improved version of ourselves. For instance, I maintained the mentality that my dad, uncle and grandfather have, and that is to always fight for your marriage, nurture and take care of one another, and always try to come from a place of understanding rather than leaving my wife and kids and choosing to be an inactive parent.

What do you want to copy, paste, edit, or delete from your life? How are you going to improve yourself as a father and/or as a husband? Remember, what we do now as parents will have an effect on our little ones in the future.